Now I understand…


When I started on this journey, my doctor mentioned that in the first 3 months the most difficult thing he saw with patients was getting them to eat.  There were a variety of reasons he gave me, the one I focused on was the small stomach.  I thought, “that must be tough to get all that protein in with such a small stomach…”  Recently, however, I’ve started to remember the other reasons he gave me.

Sometimes I straight up forget to eat.  I don’t get hunger signals like normal people might.  Most of the time I learn I’m hungry when I feel faint.  It’s like when I was pregnant and had to eat immediately,  The other issue is my gag reflex.  Nothing tastes quite the same and when it goes down the hatch it feels….weird…I don’t know how to describe it, other than I literally experience every step of the downward journey, no matter how big or small a bite I take.

Textures make me nauseous.  Smells do the same.  Even something that smells delicious, by the time it’s in my mouth and I’m chewing, I have to work up the courage to swallow.  It’s just bizarre to struggle with eating in this way.

I bought a bunch of cottage cheese and yogurt yesterday.  I was so excited about the cottage cheese.  Previously, my body didn’t do dairy.  Since surgery, it seems to have turned around.  I put a small scoop in my mouth and thought I was going to run to the garbage.  {sigh}.  I did manage to get in all my protein yesterday.  First day in a while.  And it felt good.  I’m working on it.  Every day is an adventure in eating.  In vitamins.  In exercise.  Which I’ve been awful at this week.  I’m going to go for a power walk at lunch today no matter what.

Enough complaining.  On a high note, I dropped into the 240’s.  From 285.6 to 249.6 in 5 weeks time.  Amazing.  I certainly feel much better.  That’s for sure.  My color is better, I have more energy.  I feel strong.  Those are all positives.  I’m still getting comfortable with complements.  So not used to that.  But I’ll get there.  18 days till the movers come.  So very excited! 🙂

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