A million words…

This was me last night.

Emptying out. Like the valve on my brain and mouth were pried open and I couldn’t stop the words from flowing out.

We had a leadership meeting at church last night for our ladies’ groups. There were maybe eight of us in that room as not everyone was able to attend. But the sound during dinner made it feel more like twenty were gathered.

Our discipleship director commented on how women who are on lock down as we have been store up all the words their husbands can’t handle and when we come together the words all get to come pouring out! More truth has never been spoken!

I’ve been realizing the last week or so what a strange space I’ve been in lately. I have so much going on, yet nothing going on at all. I’m doing a lot of “stuff”, but not actually going anywhere to do the things — which for a social someone like me, feels odd. It’s made me edgy, and a little “Meh” to be honest.

This “down time” (as I prefer to call the Covid lockdown) has provided me a lot of contemplation time. Contemplating my current job, a few job opportunities and a career change — what that might look like.

It’s funny — back in February I signed up for a Christian Life Coaching class — I decided it was time to become certified. People who are in transition, all kinds of transition, have always seemed naturally drawn to me. I thought rather than doling out advice, I should widen my toolbox and actually learn how to be truly helpful in those times. Anyway, I signed up in February for a class starting in April. The only upcoming class available — and it was going to run weekly for 26 weeks. Six months.

I am not a leisurely-paced person. I tend to run low on patience. But something in me kept me feeling compelled to take the long road for once. Be in the moment. Enjoy the journey.

I could have selected a different school, but again, I felt like I had found the right training for my goals. So I went ahead and signed up. And then March happened and everything turned on its side.

My school is an online, Zoom-based school. Covid or no Covid. So, April 21st we started. Twelve students from around the country. Ten women, two men and an amazing teacher. Having this class to look forward to week after week for six-months has literally been my saving grace, I think.

In addition to learning new things, which is always good for my always on brain, we got to practice our new skills. We did this during our class time and we did this one-on-one each week with our student peer coach outside of class.

I was paired with Becky. She lives in California but is an early riser like me. So, Saturday mornings, for the last six-months, I have met with Becky through zoom and she has been my life coach. I have relished the experience.

Some weeks I came prepared with a topic to explore – friendships, writing, job struggles, career opportunities. Some weeks I had nothing — because when nothing is really happening, it’s hard to find things to discuss. But each week not only did our skills build, but our friendship built. I’m starting to feel a sadness that our time is fleeting. I’ve so enjoyed that part of the journey.

In just a few weeks I will be certified. I’ve been doing practice coaching for several months now and I am gaining more confidence each time I meet with someone. I’m excited to step out in faith and see who God calls my way.

Outside of class, I’m just trying to find some normalcy. We are heading to Georgia this weekend to visit the aquarium and do some sightseeing. It’s the delayed celebration of my daughter’s 20th birthday. We were originally set to take this trip March 27th, the week after the great shut down. I sure am looking forward to getting away.

And to keep moving forward, as best as I can in these crazy days.

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