Pardon me while I blow a little dust off the old blog here…the end of 2019 was crazy busy and in the midst I lost some focus and quite frankly some desire on the creative / writing side. That happens to me from time to time when I hunker down in the middle of a shxx-storm. I gained a new boss at work over the last few months and the transition has been a bit difficult all around — for him as well as for my team, I’m sure, but I’m gaining better perspective and a view of what direction I am taking professionally, and personally over the next few months and that has helped me once again feel inspired and that always gets my fingers itching.
I was hoping to come here and have well thought out my vision and my approach to the new year / new decade. But I’ll be honest, I’ve never been one for NY Resolutions so to speak. My preference has always been in finding something that encompases the greater theme of the year and work with that for the 12-months or so.
From about 2014-2018 my life felt like it centered on transitions. I left a religion to grow closer to God, and that led me to shed all sorts of things that were unhealthy in my life — including the extra 120 pounds I was carrying around. In stripping myself of my religion and my protective layer of unhealth I become incredibly exposed and during that time I had to redefine everything. On the faith front I had to determine what I believed to be true about God. Even if I believed God existed. I had to reevaluate what that looked like in my life and how I wanted to move forward. On the health front, it meant taking some extreme steps to break some bad habits and reset my entire thought pattern. Stress, bored, sad, scared, happy, lonely = eat all the food was no longer going to work for me. I had weight loss surgery in 2017 and due to the fact that they only succedded in removing most of my stomach and intestines but NOT my brain and thought patterns, I have spent the last two years getting to know myself again in the midst of the muck — minus my previous toolbox of food.
As if those transitions weren’t enough to put my emotionally through the ringer, couple them with making a cross-country move at the prime of our life. After 15 years of raising our kids in the lovely state of Colorado, we sold everything and relocated our lives to South Carolina. I felt called here as much as I felt God called me to leave Chicago for Phoenix all those years ago. But going through the process, downsizing, orchestrating the move, uprooting our daughter at the precipice of her senior year of high school, this was not for the faint of heart. But, as in any time I’ve heard God speak into my life and I have obediently followed, this has turned out to be an amazing experience for our family. In the two years since landing we’ve found an amazing church family, made amazing connections to some pretty spectacular people, enjoyed living in the home of our dreams and finally felt a little more settled in our lives.
As the dust has finally started to settle on the whirlwind of all those transitions, I have to admit, I’ve been feeling a little … lost. I have been unsure of what direction to take. Sometimes living in the midst of chaos is it’s own propultion. In trying to survive you keep very very busy. So busy there’s not much time to stop and evaluate, you just keep swimming and hoping your head stays above the surface. But once the chaos comes to an end the business ceases and I feel like I’m in some weird sort of limbo. Not really able to fully engage in any one activity and in doing so I feel stuck in the calm. Trust me, by that statement I am not welcoming more chaos…I do not wish to be one of those people who thrive on drama and then create more so it doesn’t end. I am happy to become acquainted with a more peaceful point in my life, but I don’t want to just stand still in it and close my eyes to opportunity and experiences around me.
So that brings me to my theme or how I am going to encapsulate it for 2020. Wayyy back when I first started journaling/blogging in 2005 I used to pick a theme for the year. One year it was “The year of going green” whereby I gave up all meat products for a year (which turned into a 5-year journey of veganism…which I don’t regret one bit…but somewhere around 2010 we left that lifestyle behind). That was probably the most powerful year I remember of the themes I picked. Well, I’ve decided to go back to that philosophy because it actually worked well for me, gave me focus and allowed me to explore all sorts of things while putting it into practice.
For 2020 I’ve joined a challenge.
It’s called “Run the Year”. 2,020 miles walked, run, jogged, hiked in 2020. That’s roughly 5.5 miles a day for the entire year. Now, trust me, it’s not the running that enticed me. It’s what this represents. Forward momentum. Not sitting idly by waiting for a shoe to drop, because that’s how my life has felt lately. Things are all around good. Home life = good, faith life = good, health = good…insert thumb twidling here.
In a few weeks I’ll be turning 50. The 1/2 century mark. I look back over my first 50 in wonder — a lot has gone on in the first 50 years. Far more than I wish to summarize here. Some has been amazing, some difficult. some tragic, but all of it has made me incredibly empathetic towards my fellow man. And for that I am thankful.
So as I go through this new year, the start of a new decade, and the second half of my life, I will tick the miles by and track them as I keep my eyes and ears open wide to what is presented in my life as opportunities and callings and track those journeys as well.
I have thought through a few goals to get myself started, of course…
- Complete the 2020 miles in 2020 with an eye toward my health and continuing to do everything I can to appreciate the second chance I have been given post-weight loss
- Finish the book I have been drafting for the last two years — I have joined a one-on-one coaching experience to assure I continue to move forward and make progress with that
- Obtain my Christian Life Coaching/Certified Life Coaching certificates so that I may begin to assist others in the many transitions of life
- Continue to explore this side of the country with my family through trips and outtings to fully take advantage of all we have gained through this move
- Make time for friendships – new and old – to foster and further nurture those relationships
- Make time for God, one on one, outside of church, and let him do the driving more often than not. I have learned that I’m not always the best driver of the care of life…
And that’s as far as I have designed my year. I am excited to see how it plays out. I’ll give updates along the way as to the miles I’ve tackled and milestones I hit with that and the other things and experiences I gain as I continue to move forward through each of the 2,020 miles ahead of me this year.
Shrinking Shay 