I’ve been staring at this screen for literally two hours. Just blinking away and putting my hands on the keys and then taking them away. It’s been an interesting two days and I’m not sure where to begin.
As I’ve written over the last few weeks or so, I’m in a writing workshop. It’s been just shy of life-changing. Not that I have suddenly discovered I can write – writing has always been a part of my core – more that I have dug in to writing the story of my heart because of it and I’m making progress.
When I was making my way through cancer treatment, I was asked by several people if breast cancer would now become my platform. That question took me by surprise each time. I think it’s because of the differing perspectives. For some people, breast cancer is a HUGE thing. And let’s be honest — for a lot of people they have a much more serious case of it than I had. I can totally see where that might be life changing for many, but for me, it was another page in my book of life experiences and lessons. More than that, it was like the cherry on top to the story God’s been writing on my heart for the last handful of years.
Over the past several years I have gone through a different kind of life-changing transformation — a faith crisis. I’ve written about it extensively here on my blog. At different times along the journey I’ve shared my insights, pain, sadness, guilt, and later understanding, self-compassion, love, grace and growth. It’s been an interesting five year journey, and one that I know I am not alone in traveling. Many, many other people experience differing levels of faith crisis. Some crisis are smaller than others, people just having questions about things they’ve heard or things people have said to them along the way — others have a full blown unearthing of their entire spiritual foundation. That was more in line with what I experienced. And so, that is the focus of my book, my platform so-to-speak.
The “new adventure” part of the picture is that I have landed a 15-minute meeting with a literary agent for next Wednesday. Just a quick Skype introduction. I have no expectations. I am humbled to have this time at all. I imagine we’ll explore if my message truly is universal and if I have a voice to share the story — to reach an audience.
I think I do. I think I have a voice, that is. Going through a faith crisis is much like any crisis — it can be a lonely endeavor. For many reasons. Guilt and shame are two big ones. I am passionate about not seeing others walk this journey alone in those feelings. But how do I, sitting here in my small office in South Carolina, reach others who are struggling? I guess I start with what I know — writing. To that end, I’ve started a new blog — it will not replace this one — this one is more of a day-to-day journal of life as I live it. The new blog has a very specific purpose – to reach those that are struggling with their faith. No matter where they are in their journey, I hope to offer a place where they can relate to someone who has been there and not only made it through but today is thriving. I feel so blessed to be able to say that — there was a time I didn’t think that was a possibility.
Feel free to visit the new blog – I’d love it if you subscribed – whether you are in a similar journey or not, you may come across someone who is and my hope would be that you would point them my way.
Shrinking Shay 