No Warning…

mad scientist

I was an innocent.  I walked into the lab yesterday morning fully expecting someone to poke my arm with a needle and take some blood.  I did not expect the lab tech to take all the blood I possessed.

I walked in, sat down, started a nice chit chat with the tech gal, who I could tell was experienced so it set my mind temporarily at ease.  She grabbed my orders and started flipping through the pages…she told me she was going to go ahead and enter the orders into the computer.  After about 10 minutes I asked if there were a lot of orders.  “Oh, yes…a LOT of orders.”  Huh.  How bad could it be?

After another five minutes or so, she hits the print button and out comes, that’s right, 22 labels.  “Those must be for all your paperwork?  Right?” I asked.  “Well, 6 of them are.  The rest are for your viles.”


Panic sets in.  How can you take that much blood all at once.  The tech tried to comfort me.  “Oh, no, my record is 21 viles at one time!”  Oh dear lord!  And I was fasting to boot.

So, we began.  She was a great tech.  Hardly even a pinch.  Around vile 12 she started looking disappointed.  “What?!!”  “Well, this vein is giving out…”  ya think?  My vein was exhausted from the blood letting.  She pulled the needle and looked ambitiously at my right arm…clearly we were not ready to call it a day.  She poked my right arm, more blood letting.  Finally filled the last 4 viles to capacity.  Then she has the audacity to look me in the eye and say, “now we just need a urine specimen.”  Um….I have zero fluids left.  Can I come back in a bit after I get something to drink.  Mind you the Quest lab in town is now part of the Safeway pharmacy.  So she let me leave.

I was not steady on my feet.  I could feel I was not walking as well as I thought I was.  People were staring…could have been the tape on both arms to stop the flow of blood, with what little I had left it was important to keep it in.  I grabbed a Gatorade and sat down outside.  Nothing had ever tasted better than that fruit punch.

After a bit, I was brave enough and ready enough to head back inside.  I gave my sample and then headed to my car — but first I tripped, followed by jamming my very tired and sore bend in my arm into the emergency alarm on the door…thank goodness I didn’t set it off.  From there I wandered around what is quite a small parking lot not remembering where I parked.  I finally set off my alarm to find it.  Once inside I just sat there for a bit.  I shouldn’t have driven home, but I did.  I made it, but I don’t much remember the drive.  That’s probably not a good sign.  I came home, had a left over Adelle’s chicken sausage and passed out for an hour.  Work could wait.  I woke up feeling better.  Somehow I survived.  Please don’t let me have any vitamin deficiencies…I had no idea they could check for so much “stuff”.  I can only hope at this point I passed the final test.

We leave for North Carolina tomorrow.  Off to the land of humidity, rain, and wonder.  We’re seeing houses our first two days followed by a trip to the Biltmore (cannot wait for that), a visit to a church that sounds like the one we attend here, and finally, some pool time.  We’ll be back on Monday.  I am so in need of a weekend away! 🙂

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