What a great and busy weekend. For so many reasons. Let’s start out with a few confessions first, then I’ll bore you with the details.
#1 Eating: still totally on plan, but bingeing like crazy none-the-less. I’m not sure if it’s my cycle, boredom (still laid up with this leg) or what, but if it was Whole30 approved and not nailed down it seemed to find its way into my mouth. All I can say is that I’m really glad i cannot weigh myself until January 31st. I’d probably be really bummed right now if i could, but I know this will balance out. And I still feel better than I otherwise would.
#2 Quitting: I hit the 7 day slump and wondered what in the world am I doing this for again? I can’t exercise (which isn’t entirely true, but my tantrum made it seem so), I can’t keep food out of my mouth…what is the point? The point is that this isn’t about perfection. I, it turns out, am a perfectionist. Deep deep down, I don’t like to do things I’m not only not good at, but not perfect at. I’m pretty sure that’s part of how I got to this point in the first place. I wasn’t perfect and so I chucked everything out the window. I’m working on it. At least I’m in the acknowledgment stage. I have a long way to go with this one, but I’m determined to find a more balanced view of life. And so, what I learned in this short time. I can actually exercise. My upper body needs help to. As does my core. Both of those things can be worked on for the most part without the use of my legs. Or at least fully engaging them, which seems to be the problem with my dang knee. I am still eating less calories overall then I would be if nothing was off limits. So binge though I may, it is a temporary set back and I’m back on track today. 3 meals, no snacking. I remember how to do this. For those of you who are ready to freak out on me, that’s the prescription with Whole30. Three meals a day. Snack only when you really really are in a situation where you won’t manage the next timed meal. Eating higher protein actually helps stave off hunger in between. Just a matter of knowing how large your meals need to be to sustain you for 4’ish hours. And finally…what am I saying? This time will keep passing and I can either give it my best every day every week throughout the months and see where it gets me, or I can let the time pass by sitting on the couch, doing nothing and wind up here, or worse, come next New Year’s. I have no intention of doing that. So…I guess the tantrum wasn’t all that awful. I’m learning a lot. And that can’t be bad.
Saturday was a busy day. Helped a friend’s young son and his fiance look into buying their first house. I was very impressed by their maturity and thoughtfulness about the process. We looked at a few houses and ultimately made the decision that they need to wait a bit, which is probably the best decision for them right now. But they have a plan and are working towards it and I feel honored to be a part of it.
Went to church yesterday and heard the most inspirational message. I try to adopt a scripture each year. I hadn’t done so yet as none really spoke to me. Yesterday we heard the story of Chad Arnold, a member of our church who went through a live liver transplant. (You need to watch this story, but please have tissues nearby. Just click on his name above). After we watched the video, and listened to he and our pastor speak, we were strongly encouraged to read Romans 12: 1-2 this morning. About really giving your life over to Christ. I feel a deeper sense of spiritual purpose after that meeting yesterday. It profoundly touched me. So this will be my guiding scripture this year. I know by turning my life over, but truly leaning fully on Him, I will learn to be less perfectionistic. I know that trait really speaks to doing everything on my own. And that’s not what I believe to be the point.
And now for the La Croix picture. So we all know I torqued my knee. I am now on crutches. I give up. I called the doc this morning and have an appt at 11:20a. I’m a little nervous as to what he’s going to say. Hopefully the prescription will just be time and care. My husband is an IT guru. He is also the neighborhood computer go-to guy. Which as tired as he is some days, he enjoys. Frank is super service oriented and he enjoys helping people. Anyway, he was at our neighbors last night, neighbors that over the years have morphed into very good and close friends. He made mention of my knee and my girlfriend doesn’t skip a beat, she went out, bought me some grapefruit La Croix and a card and sent Frank home with it. I was sincerely touched. Few people probably know that my love language is gifts. Doesn’t have to be big, just something that says I’m thinking about you, and that I took it a step further and did something for you. A homemade card would suffice, but she went above and beyond, because that is her nature, and I was really touched by this act. I felt loved and appreciated and cared for all by that simple gesture. I so appreciate our friendship.
I’ll report back after the doc today. Fingers crossed it’s no big deal.
UPDATE: Saw the doc. Might be a cartilage or and ACL tear. MRI scheduled for Friday and follow up with the doc next Tuesday. So we shall see. 😦 Either way — that’s most likely surgery … again … ugh.