Tough decisions…

The last little bit has been rough. We’ve been waiting on second opinions from a variety of doctors for Cathy’s tumor removal and prognosis.

We’ve met with a second pulmonologist (who has finally ordered a PET scan, for which I am thankful) and we met with a thoracic surgeon.

The pulmonologist confirmed what the first doctor said, that it is a Carcinoid tumor in her lung and that it is slow growing. She, like me, wants to rule out that she has anything going on anywhere else, thus the PET scan (which will happen next week).

The thoracic surgeon meeting didn’t leave me feeling great.

We have three options, sort of.

Option #1: We can speak to an oncologist and talk about chemo and radiation. Neither have proven successful for this type of cancer. So, not really a great option;

Option #2: We can remove the top half of her lung, which will allow him to remove “most” of the tumor, but not all, and he thinks that will still cause issues; and

Option #3: We can remove her entire lung. That will certainly get the entire tumor out, but um, what’s the quality of life without one of your lungs?

I know you can live without some of a lung. My cousin Dee is missing a portion of her lower lobe from cancer she had about 8 or so years ago. She lives her normal pre-cancer life. You wouldn’t know she is missing a piece of lung unless you know she’s missing it. So, I was hopeful at first. Then he hemmed a bit with the “there would still be issues” part and I felt deflated.

I am normally good at making decisions. There is generally a good or “best” decision at the forefront. But this time I am locked up a bit. I don’t want to put Cathy through a major surgery, with major recovery if it doesn’t gain us both time and quality of life. Right now I’m not convinced any of the options do that 100%. But leaving the tumor in isn’t exactly an option either. I wish Cathy and I could talk through the options together, both agreeing on the choice in the end. But, I know that’s not really feasible, either.

I don’t know if there’s ever been a time when I’ve missed my mom more or tried to channel her more. What would she do in the same situation? I literally have no idea.

We’ll know a little more after the PET scan. At least we’ll know if we’re dealing with a localized cancer for sure, or if it lurks in other places. The outcome might change the path or the prognosis, so I guess now it’s a waiting game.

Thank you also to those of you who have sent Cathy cards, notes, pictures, gifts and prayers. All of these things have been received, appreciated, and have brought a smile to her face. She’s literally walking around with a purse full of letters and photos. She’s not sure why she is getting all this love, but she is sure eating it up!!