Tap, tap, tap

Have you ever gone to bed just fine, and then woke up with a burning idea that just won’t leave you be?

I cannot be the only one.

I have a handful of instances where this has happened in my life. If you’ve read my writings for any length of time, you might have heard me refer to these occurrences as “Job” moments.

Job 33:14-15 (NLT) reads:

For God speaks again and again, though people do not recognize it. He speaks in dreams, in visions of the night, when deep sleep falls on people as they lie in their beds.

The first time it happened, I was about 22 years old. I had a great job, first place of my own, and a long-term boyfriend (not that that was going anywhere) and I woke up one morning on fire to move to Phoenix. I had never been, had no game plan, but the message was so strong I never doubted the success in following through. So I packed up all my “stuff” (stuff being my stereo system and my sweaters — we all can guess how important my Chicago sweaters were once I arrived in Phoenix, in September, at 108 degrees), and moved across country and never looked back.

Yesterday morning, I had a moment like this. Immediately followed by imposter syndrome.

Who am I to do such a thing? Who would listen to me? How can I make that happen with all the things on my plate already? The list goes on and on.

At 22 it never occurred to me that I could fail. At 51 I have a little more life experience, things go awry all the time. And?

And is what I’ve been posing to myself for the last 24 hours.

As in, “And…so what?” So what if things don’t go as planned, don’t happened in a “perfect” way. This really isn’t about me. The idea God tapped me on the shoulder with isn’t just for me. I’ve been letting that sink in as well.

For now I think I’ll stop thinking so much. I’ll stop leaning on my own knowledge, on my own thoughts of my potential limitations and I’ll step out in faith. I’ll take a moment to remember God knit me this way. I am His masterpiece just how I am and when He calls me, He equips me.

Stand by…more to come.

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