Life is all about transitions. Sometimes it’s moving up — from say high school to college — sometimes it’s moving forward, like when we moved from Colorado to South Carolina — and sometimes it’s moving on. But I’ve come to realize life is simply a series of changes, of transitions. And even happy transitions have a grieving process tied to them.
Today marks the beginning of a transition for me.
Today, after eight+ years at Air Methods, I am moving on. It is my last day of work and I have a bag of emotions I’m sorting through.
I’ve been considering a change for a while. After doing a job for so long it becomes wrote. Sure, there are fires and things that pop up that add new challenges day to day, but after so long, even those challenges are resolved pretty easily and what’s left is the same old, same old. My brain gets tired when it’s not challenged. I don’t know if that’s me, or my level of serious ADD but that’s how it’s been for some time.
My former boss, the one who brought me to AMC, left a few years ago and is now at an international public company. She has invited me to join her team there. It’s quite the compliment when someone reaches out to bring you along because of their past experience working with you. That, coupled with the challenges a new adventure brings made saying “yes” a pretty easy deal. But that doesn’t mean the decision came without pause.
I like the people I work with. And I have no real complaints about the company. Sure, over the eight years there have been a lot of changes, and a lot of the people I really adored in leadership have changed – but as a whole – I love my team and I know they enjoy and count on me. I hate disappointing people I care about.
I’m trying to remember that as I face my last day. My team is grieving and in transition, too.
It’s been sort of a let down, this winding down process. The attorneys have all been in an executive “retreat” meeting the last three days as they begin the new year. I’ve had my head down the last two weeks trying to tie up all the loose ends and transition my work flow to others around me. I realized yesterday that no one has said anything about my leaving. No plan on how we’ll say goodbye, no last hurrah, no virtual happy hour. And I have to say, I feel really disappointed.
It is what it is, I guess.
Tomorrow will start a little time off. I needed to regroup and rest between gigs. I know I will hit the ground with my feet on fire from day one. I am super excited to be uber busy again. To have my hands in so many pots and places from the get go. I am excited to work again with Crystal — and my friend Alan is over there as well heading up the Compliance area, which I’ll learn and support, but there are new people to meet and work with as well. My direct manager (Tomas) is really nice. We really clicked during the interview – I think we see things similarly and I am excited to learn from him and share the things I bring to the table as well. This will be good for me. To stretch and grow. I’m excited to see if this old dog can learn new tricks after all this time.
But today will be hard. And I’m going to sit in it and mourn the passing of the last eight years and all that AMC and the people here have brought to my life. I’ve learned a lot, grown a lot, and laughed a lot along the way. I’ve made friendships that will long survive the job and that’s not always the case. I am thankful for the time I’ve spent here. It’s been a good ride.
Transitions are hard and this one is no exception. And though I’m ready to step out into my future, I feel like a small piece of my heart will be left behind…