At this moment, 29 years ago, I was on the way to get my hair and makeup done. One of my close girlfriends was with me and we were both trying to recover from a week of far-to-late nights with all of our friends who had gathered with us to celebrate…
Today was our wedding day.
We were living in Phoenix and were surrounded that day by friends, family, and loved ones ready to take the first step of our future lives. We had no idea that the love we shared that day would grow deeper and richer 29 years later. But here we are.
Frank and I like to reminisce about our early days. Even the days before we met.
Frank had one serious relationship before we met. I on the other hand went through boys “like tissues,” as Frank likes to say. But when I met Frank, I knew there was something different. And so did my mom.
I moved to Phoenix from Chicago when I was 22. I met Frank at a job and we started out as friends. After many lunches, emails, and DOS version of instant chats, we went on a road trip to Colorado where his parents and my brother lived. We talked non-stop the whole way there and the whole way home. The next day we returned to work, went to lunch, Frank told me he wanted to see where this thing between us could go…and here we are — three decades later, still going strong.
We don’t take that lightly.
When Frank and I reminisce we talk about so many things. Buying our first home, raising littles (and now big) kiddos, vacations we’ve shared; especially the camping vacations we took with the family when we literally had no money to do anything else, and how those are some of our favorite times.
Sometimes those conversations center around sad times. And loss. Loss of jobs, which led to loss of the dream house we were building in Phoenix, which led to moving our family to Colorado and starting over. Loss of our parents over the years. Loss of a religion and some of the friends we thought we’d gained during that period of time.
We talk sometimes about other couples, couples we loved so much, that didn’t make it. And we talk about how blessed we feel to not only love each other but sincerely like each other still after all these years.
I’ve been in situations where women are bashing their men — I just don’t have much to contribute. Other than the fact that Frank habitually leaves his clothes in the dryer, I have very very little to complain about. Frank is a good guy. He is service-oriented and family motivated. He would sooner see his family happy than care for his own happiness first. He has a great sense of humor and is incredibly smart. But my favorite attribute. Frank is kind. He just is. He’s set the bar high for our daughter, and our son. And my mom saw all those qualities the first hour she met him.
My parents came to visit the June before my father passed away. Frand joined us for lunch during his workday. It didn’t take much time at all before he and my mother were talking non-stop. They just clicked. And when lunch was over, my mother grabbed my arm, pulled me back and whispered in my ear, “Don’t let this one break up with you.”
I was so annoyed. Back in my prime, I was almost always the ‘breaker-upper’. Why would she even say something like that?
Thirty-plus years later, I get it.
She saw in him all the things that I have had the blessing to discover over the years.
Next year will be our 30th anniversary, and for that, we’ve just started planning the trip of a lifetime. But for this year, Frank took the reigns and planned our time together.
He took me to a farmer’s market in South End – which was fun. Then we went to lunch at the 7th Street Market in downtown. We enjoyed some great pizza (even Frank – the gluten-free crust at Geno D’s passed the test), and then we headed to a surprise.
We wound up at a place called the “Plant House” where we got to dirty our hands and use our creativity to create terrariums for succulent plants. SO much fun.
When we arrived home, he had one more gift up his sleeve. He brought out a box and a card.
The card was custom laser cut with the years 1996 and 2025 and a wedding couple — I’ll have to take a picture and add it here. He’s always finding unique cards to celebrate our special days.
The box held the most beautiful larimar three-pronged necklace on a sliding-length silver chain. It’s gorgeous. And thoughtful. Frank has only bought me jewelry a few times in our marriage (it makes him nervous — the picking of something I’ll like to wear). He did good. A moment captured in time that sums up all the other moments.
It’s been an amazing ride this life we’ve shared. And I sincerely look forward to many more years of adventures together. S’aga po, Pancho. S’aga Po.
Shrinking Shay 