Blur…

That’s how I’ve been feeling about life lately. A blur.

Work has been…crushing. I was going to say hectic, but it’s always been a little of that. Lots of pressure and deadlines, but this pace is a little insane.

Many months ago I mentioned that we were acquiring another company. When that happens, Legal generally does the upfront push. Lots of moving parts to get a deal closed. But once the close occurs, generally, Legal hands the new baby off to human resources and operations for the integration to begin and things calm down and return to a sense of “normal”. Not this time. Not so much. I have no idea what in the world is going on.

My co-worker coined it best the other day — our new tagline should read, “Every day is a Monday at Gogo…”

Working at this pace feels draining. I am running to catch up, but like a scary movie, the running continues but the hallway seems to keep stretching and stretching so you never quite reach your destination.

And then this morning, I was reminded of precious truths.

I was reading Luke 10:38-42 this morning. You know the one. The story of Mary and Martha.

Ouch.

Looking in a mirror I see Martha reflecting back at me. Busy, busy, busy.

When I get busy, tired, or overloaded, I tend to dig in, press harder, work more. Me, me, me. How can I fix the situation? It’s in these moments that I need to pause, to listen, to lean into what God has for me.

Rest.

I’ve never been good at resting. There’s always something that needs doing. But when I jump to do things in the immediate, without going to God first, I often wind up feeling resentful and more exhausted. When I have gone to him first, and really listened, oftentimes He redirects me altogether. Often the message is that I wasn’t supposed to do the thing in front of me in the first place. And when I listen? I’m less frustrated, or later I find a better solution than I would have had I plunged head-first into the situation.

Pause.

Mary knew to pause. She knew that the dinner could wait. She was feasting on the bread of life. Sitting at Jesus feet while Martha scurried around trying to make everything perfect, in the end, Martha was so frustrated with all the work, she tattled — to the Son of God — that Mary wasn’t helping.

Jesus doesn’t chastize Martha at that moment, but gently teaches her that Mary understood what was most important and that He wasn’t going to push Mary out of that moment to busyness for busyness sake. He was going to allow her to sit, and rest at His feet and soak in His words, His holiness, as long as she needed and wanted to.

I don’t know how many times I have told friends and those I love to stop trying to pour from an empty cup. We were meant to pour from our overflow.

That’s a good word. One I should listen to myself.

Aside from the busyness, it’s been a beautiful season in my relationship with Jesus. I am back to leading a growth group of amazing women on Saturday mornings. And each day I wake and seek Him first. I am reading more, praying more, and pausing more before my day begins.

We are studying from a book called “Matchless – the Life and Love of Jesus” currently. Angie Smith is the author. If you aren’t acquainted, I invite you to meet her.

When I was new in my faith and just starting to really dig into the Bible, I was introduced to Angie’s first book, “Seamless.” Here she shares the thread that runs from the Old Testament to the New Testament, tying them together as one seamless story.

That study taught me to look for God in every page. To see his unchanging character throughout every book of the Bible. There isn’t a wrathful God of the OT and a loving God in the New. It is the same God throughout. Loving us through all of our stumbling and resistance — the pull of our sinful flesh. I am so thankful for those early lessons.

This study has brought me closer to walking with Jesus. At times I feel like I’ve been right beside him as He walked the streets of Jerusalem, of Bethany, and beyond. The stories left for us to know Him have come alive for me in a way I was missing before. I’m excited to dig in each day.

But more importantly, I need to remember to sit at His feet other than at the start of my day. Sometimes I need to pause and curl up in the middle of the chaos, too. Maybe even more than when things are calm.

I think today, I’m going to try something new. I think I’m going to make an appointment with Jesus. Block a little time on my mid-day calendar to spend some time at His feet. Listen to what He has to say in my life. Fill my cup with His presence.

I’ll let you know how it goes…