I have spent the last hour rereading all my 2024 posts. Which tells me a few things.
- It really was a great year with so many amazing nuggets and blessings; and
- I didn’t post enough.
Once upon a time I wrote nearly every day. Life wasn’t quite as busy in those days, and I appreciate that is the case, but still, there are plenty of mornings I sit here and surf after my quiet time when I could be capturing all the things that fill our lives on the daily.
I write because, because I am a writer. It’s in my blood. Ever since I could hold a pencil I’ve been fascinated with wordsmithing. I wrote elaborate stories when I was eight years old. Elaborate for an eight-year-old any way, I would say.
I also write because I want to record my life, and that of my family’s life. My mother was a writer. And I have a collection of her journals which, over the years have brought me comfort in her absense. I hope one day, when I have passed on, my kids will have this collection to read through and it will both bring them some comfort and make them smile, because though they “knew” me, this is a deeper stroll through who I am, what I believe, how I remember our collective journey. Through my words, they will get to know me infinitely better and also come to know more of their history. And I believe our histories are part of what makes us who we are.
It’s December 28th. A few days post-Christmas, a few days before New Year’s Eve. I’m tapping away on one of my two Christmas presents from this year. It was a big ask for this season.
First, my kids bought me an Ember. It is THE BEST gift for a hot beverage drinker.
The Ember is a self-regulating, heated beverage cup. It has an app where you can set the perfect temperature. The mug is cool to the touch outside but manages to keep the liquid inside set at the perfect desired temperature for the entire time it takes you to drink the drink.
Hot coffee every. single. sip.
It literally freaked me out yesterday when I took my first sip – 125 degrees. When I took my second and third sips over the next 10 minutes, still 125 degrees. My brain was shocked every time the warm liquid fell on my tongue. I’m used to my hot drink becoming an “iced” drink by the end. It’s been amazing.
The second gift I asked for and received was a new laptop. My old silver fox was purchased in 2016. Eight years ago. And it’s still ticking away. It was still pretty quick to load and I mostly write and surf on it these days, so for those purposes, it was really fine. But the Keys were faded (literally letters were missing) and the CTRL key on the left no longer worked. And it was just time.
Such a luxury as I sit here and click away at the keys.
As I sat and reviewed my year, I was actually inspired. That feels like an odd thing to say; that I was inspired by my own words, but I was. Earlier in the year I adopted a WFPB lifestyle. I hit some bumps in the later summer and then gave in in the fall for a bit. I’ve climbed back on board, but rereading my entries reminded me of all the possibilities. All the things I enjoy. All the food freedom I experience when my plate is full of color. When I sleep better. When I take charge of my health and feel more in sync with the blessings of food God has provided.
This year was a busy time. Work has been insane. I know a lot of people are busy. I’m not saying I’m worse off, but I will say that I don’t know many people who have had to keep the sustained pace that I have for the number of months it’s continued. A lot of things that are important to me were sacrificed in the moment. Time is perhaps the biggest of the things.
Time is a commodity.
Time works like money. When I have it, I get to decide how I spend it. I can use it to draw closer to God by studying His word. I can use it to foster my friendships through spending time with them. I can strengthen my family ties by spending time with Frank and our kids. It’s something I’ve lacked this year, and I have certainly felt it over the second half of the year.
So this coming year, rather than picking a particular word to focus on, I am going to focus on time. And how I spend it.
My friend, Laurie, had a “come to Jesus” meeting with me the other morning after a streak of 12+ hour days at the office. I looked rough, I felt rough; it was not a great place to be. And this is post-merger at the office. It’s not sustainable.
Laurie reminded me in so many words that I am “not the Savior.” I cannot do, fix, or make better all. the. things. I cannot single-handedly support the work at the office non-stop at any cost. Because the cost is me. My health. My sanity. She made me promise to get the hell away from my desk and to take a walk mid-day. With Archie gone, I have no one reminding me to get up to let them outside, which at least got me off the computer for a short time.
So, that day I did just that. I pushed away from the desk at 2pm, fired up my Air Buds, Melanie did the same at her house, and we took a walk together and talked and processed. Twenty minutes and I felt a second wind. I felt renewed. I had more energy and decided to finish my work day at 5:00 p.m. — that hadn’t happened in months. I grabbed dinner that night with Becky. It was a great day. And a stiff reminder that I have choices. Even when I feel like I don’t. Even when there are deadlines and things that need to be done.
So that is my focus for the year ahead. How I spend my time each day. How I will fill my cup, and stay healthy, and grow in my relationship with God, and others. How will I nurture my relationships, and how I will work my day-job. More importantly, what will my boundaries be?
How will you decide to spend your time?
Shrinking Shay 