Grateful…

Tuesday night I co-lead a bible study with my friend Tammy.  I use co-lead loosely because really, the women in our group are equal leaders as they are participants.  These women all have such a heart for God.  They are all in different parts of their spiritual journey, but all open their hearts to each other every Tuesday night.  The rawness and honesty that pours out is something else. The love and gentleness they exhibit towards one another.  The way they share their stories.  I’m tearing up just thinking about it.  I still feel so young in my walk with Christ that I feel blessed to be taught by these women each and every week.

Our study this fall is called Rooted in the Word and it is a very in depth study in Phillipians.  Four short chapters in one book.  How much can there be to study?  Wowza, Paul sure packed a lot of wisdom, love and encouragement in those letters.  As we were digging in and nearing the end, Tammy, who was leading last night suddenly asked me to drive while she stepped out.  I seriously thought nothing of it.  I picked up and we went through the last few parts of the study.  As I got to the very last page, Tammy returned with this amazing and lovely basket pictured above.  A gift for me from each of the women there.

Each of them had chosen a scripture to write on a pumpkin which Tammy had taken the time to paint in various shades of pink.  The bouquet came complete with two boo-bees! HA!  All to get me through my upcoming surgery.  It took everything in me not to just break down and bawl.  I was so so touched by their thoughtfulness and love.

I have been so overwhelmed by the love and support I have received from so many places, so many people, in such a short time.  I stand amazed at God’s hand and His timing in all things.

We didn’t know I would have cancer when we packed up everything we owned and moved across country to a new state where we knew pretty much no one.  We left 15 years of friends back in Denver, people I could have called on at the drop of a hat.  Here we are in Clover, having only met some of these people weeks ago and yet I feel like I could call on any one of them and they would come to my side in a heart beat.  I’m really just in awe at His timing, His plan.  I love that I am seeing little by little pieces of that plan knit together for my good.  It’s like every day I can see a little more of how all things have come together as they should have, as they needed to, to get me through this next challenge.  And get through I will.

One of our class mates who is so very honest about where she is in her faith questioned why God would allow bad things to happen to us.  Especially if we are doing everything “right”.  Praying, studying His word, attending bible study.  And there it is — because it is not about what we do to earn Grace.  Grace is freely given.  It is about what we need to grow individually, to come onto Him fully.  God doesn’t cause the issue, the hurt, the cancer, but he allows it.  My lovely friend Becky summed it up last night.  If I can help one person see Christ through me, through my situation, then whatever I might go through has purpose.  God is good.  No matter what, He brings us through it.  Sometimes He brings us through it by using an army of beautiful women to lift us up, to love on us, to laugh with us, to pray with us.  He certainly has provided that for me.