Doubt be gone…

I’m having a moment here in the wee hours of the morning. I am speaking at the Relevant Church retreat in a few hours.

Yesterday we did an amazing scripture walk where we carried stones in a small bag and cast these represented hindrances off along the way. One of my hindrances is comparison.

I feel small sitting here compared to the beauty of what we’ve been taught at the feet of such lovely and experienced teachers over the course of the last few days. Last night Sandy blew me away with her absolute rawness. I only pray to be like her one day.

I have a story to tell. I have a story of God taking a seriously broken and often misguided soul and transforming her into a Christ warrior. He is truly unhindered in His pursuit of us. Tonight I only doubt my words will bring across the fire and passion which came from the ashes my life has been.

I don’t have eloquence on my side. I don’t even have an exceptional knowledge of the scriptures to back up what I know to be absolute truths about my conversion. All I have is my reliance on the Spirit to use my broken and unmelodic words to touch a heart like mine has been touched here in these last days.

And I have to wonder if that was the point of being asked so long ago to speak here. God knew it would require setting aside any ego I have to fully rely on Him in the moment.

So here I am praying in earnest to the point of sacrificing sleep doing just that. Amen